"This is what happens when you get a B.A. in liberal arts"

THURSDAY, 23 July. The plane left around one o'clock, and oh my god, I swear my ears have never popped so badly before. Prior to leaving England, the five of us contemplated getting a German phrase book, and I'm not going to lie... I really wanted one. They decided against it, and then we entered the war without shields. Stepping out of the plane and walking through the airport was the first culture shock that I've experienced this entire time. After walking a good five minutes, I noticed something was really strange. We all decided to hush for a moment, and we realized what the strange thing was: it was silent-everything, everyone was SILENT. ZIP. ZAP. NADA. Not a single peep, let alone the roars of laughter that we were all naturally producing. It was the first time I've felt out of place over here. So we shuffled our way through the airport, and while we were sitting and waiting for the train to come and take us to the main plaza in Munich, we see a man collecting plastic bottles and cans. Tiffany hands him her plastic bottle and the conversation starts like this:
Man: Now that's a good woman!
We all laughed and noticed that he had an American accent.
Man: But you know what? You can't recycle this one.
He approached us with the bottle in hand, pointing to a symbol on another bottle...
Man: You need this symbol on it.
Tiffany: Oh, we didn't know, sorry about that!
Man: Aw now, don't worry about it. Hey! You guys speak American English! Where are you all from?
All of us: California...
Man: Well, where in California?
All of us: L.A.! Orange County! San Diego! San Francisco!
Man: I went to UCLA! Let me tell you guys something... this is what happens when you get a B.A. in liberal arts. I was an English major...

Everyone turns their heads and immediately looks at me. He came onto the same train as us, and it turns out that he's been in Germany since 1983 when he graduated from UCLA. We sat there and talked to him throughout the entire train ride about black talk, roadie work, tennis and life since he left the States. We parted with him at our stop and headed off on our own journey towards the hotel, when it started to hail out of no where.

Our hotel ended up being smack dab in the center of Munich's red light district; that explained all the weird looks I got when I asked how to get to Schillister St. We finally made it safely to the hotel, promptly dropped our bags and headed out for some food. After five minutes of walking past cabarets and strip clubs, we saw VIET-THAI GARDEN. It was fate. I couldn't even remember the last time I used chopsticks, let alone eat Vietnamese food... it was amazing. We walked back to our hotel room, our blood flowing with MSG. Ah... heaven. Halo, Germany.

Sprechen Sie Deutsches?... this is going to be a long one.

Nien. I don't sprechen sie deutsch. halo, dankeschon and auf wiedersen: Munich was amazing, and it has to be the best decision/destination by far. Hope y'all are ready because the breakdown is coming.

Tasks 14-16

Ok so there's been a bit of a hiatus so I figure it was a sign to move on to other countries.

14. Either take a picture with someone wearing a kilt on a normal day basis, or better yet, buy your own kilt.

15. If you go to France, ask everyone where Beauxbatons is. If you don't go, try speaking with a French accent one day and telling everyone that you're a transfer student from Beauxbatons and you can't find your sister Fleur.

16. Have Belgian Waffles. Hurl lavish praises on whoever serves them to you.

Tasks #11 and #12!...and #13!

Okay, fine, I already told you one of them, but I need to put it in writing to make it count.
10: take a picture of you holding Stonehenge in your hand!
11: FIND A CORGI AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH IT. Official dog of the royal family. Represent.
12: Find a jukebox somewhere if you can (do they know what jukeboxes are?) and blast an Elton John jam. Preferably Tiny Dancer.

Operation Captain Task #10

I have officially begun my "Harry Potter: The Half-Blood Prince" craze! And in its honor, I dedicate your 10th task captain.

Task #10: While waiting in line for a showing of HP6: HBP in England, engage in a wizard's duel with a fellow spell-user. Some must-uses: expelliarmus, avada kedavra, crucio, aguamenti, tarantallegro, petrificus totalus, sectumsempra (signature HP6 move), engorgio, and last, but not least, wingardium leviosar! Blogspot is obviously American because half of these spells are underlined red.

Wish you a bloody brilliant time at HP in England. You can't even imagine how badly I wish I was there to bask in the HarryPotter-ness.

Task #6: I <3 TOPSHOP

TOPSHOP anyone? I went to the one in Brighton... and it was pretty cool, they had a Top Man right next door. Planning to go to the one in London next week! I ended up buying that skirt. :] Now that was an awesome task.

Task #4: Hershey Got it Right

Cadbury, smazbury...it ain't got nothing on you, Hershey. 4 pack from the 99 pence store. what am I going to do with 3 1/2 uneaten bars of Cadbury Dairy Milk bars?

Hello, London! (the one that would have been saturday)

If it was anything that woke me up to the fact that I'm in England, it would be the day-trip to London. We spent 14 hours walking around the city, soaking all of it in, and I feel like there's still so much more to cover. I ventured into Westminster Abbey with our group as a 17 year old so that I could get a discounted price :] 6 pounds, people... history ain't cheap. But after all of that, I honestly would have paid full price because of how amazing it is. I've never been surrounded by so much historical and architectural richness. I got lost in there with the audio as my guide, and sat there in awe for a moment as I passed all the great (and not so great) monarchs of England. The writers, the poets, the musicians, kings and queens... it was real, guys. Sir Isaac Newton and Sir Charles Darwin... it was in your face history, and I loved it. It was time to go, and I sadly left the Abbey onto Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. After admiring the grandeur of the sights, we all decided to go on the Eye, where I decided that I was 15 for the day. 8.50 pounds instead of 20 pounds or something like that... hell yeah, I was going to try to be 15! I walked up to the kiosk, and calmly asked for one child admission and the lady goes, "Do you have I.D.?"... what kind of a 15 year old has I.D.? the rest of the dialogue went something like this:

"No, I don't have any I.D."
"Well then, I'm afraid I can't sell you a ticket..."
"Then could I just pay for regular admission?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"WHY NOT?!"
"...Well first of all, you don't look fifteen, and secondly, I can't let you on without a guardian..."
(apparently ferris wheels in England are equivalent to rated R movies in America)

haha, I never thought I would have to try so hard to convince someone that I was younger than I actually am. But I got a child admission, and the view from the eye was pretty fantastic. The rest of the day consisted of trying to get through the last two things for the day: Platform 9 and 3/4 and Abbey Road. We got lost and ended up paying about 3 pounds to get to it when it was free. I ran around asking policemen if they happened to know where platorm 9 and 3/4 was.. heh. Abbey Road is coming up next, friends.

Headed back to school on the train, and witnessed two drunk Brits arguing about a cockblock incident over a Spanish girl...

i'm definitely not in california anymore,
captain

the one that would have been thursday

I've never realized how much of a drag it is to take summer school, especially in England. Note to all: if you want to study abroad, summer's probably not the best time, particularly if you're used to being lazy and slacking off during the summer like moi. Class has been a constant droning of discussion, the kind where only the teacher discusses and when she pauses for input, all she gets is blank stares.

I finally stopped being anti-social and decided to jump in on school sponsored social events: the pub crawl. oh my god. about 6 groups of 40 american college students on a supervised field trip to three pubs in Brighton and a club at the very end. needless to say, it was a whole bunch of KUHRAZY. Kevin and I had a shot of absinthe each... I hadn't even heard of absinthe prior to - no, I didn't see any fairies. We headed over to the club and spent about two hours dancing away, getting stepped on, and exchanging sweat with all the other crazies until we just couldn't handle it anymore. Apparently my Mama-esque role takes on here too, because I ran after drunk kevin as we left the club, and he was shouting, "I WANNA TOUCH THE OCEAN"- in the pouring rain. After agreeing to dip my feet into the Atlantic Ocean with him, we ran and ran under the bullets of rain, roaring thunder and striking lightning to the bus stop... and being the graceful person that I am, I slid on that slippery sucker of a sidewalk. While examining my wonderful bruises and scratch on the side of my thigh at the bus stop, I overheard one of my friends telling some guy that she was going to jizz on him... they should have warning labels on that alcohol stuff.

But boy, was it lovely. Running barefoot through the streets of Brighton under the rain - past all the beautiful buildings and the reflections of the street lights on the pavement. I don't think I'll ever forget that night.

thankful of not catching pneumonia,
captain

oh sh*t, it's been a week.

first of all, i would like to discuss how strangely complicated everything is over here. i have to work twice as hard here as i would at home to get the same thing done. I last left y'all off on Tuesday, and boy have I had an eventful week. In attempts to recap everything...

Let's Make You a Cool Kid and Teach You British Slang

So, I was browsing through Youtube, doing my usual, "I'm bored. I don't know what to do with myself, even though it's 3AM in the morning and I shouldn't be doing anything but sleeping..." I came across this and immediately thought of you. It seems useful?? I enjoyed the part about fannies, hahah. And "we don't pet...we stroke" because I'm oddly amused by dirty humor at this hour, apparently.






Now you can adopt the persona of a cool, British...20-something by simply utilizing their very, very, VERY...and did I mention very? odd slang! I like that he attempts to speak Spanish, hehe.

Love you! And Happy 4th of July :)

Operation Captain Tasks 7-9

7. Hit on a Brit using the American-est of all American pick up lines. The cornier, the better. The geekier (science/math status)...double the brownie points!

8. Depending on whether or not you read this early enough to do it, wish everyone a "Happy 4th of July!" (or "Happy Independence Day") and gauge the reaction on their faces. Duck for cover if they come after you with muskets, while clad in red coats and pretty gold buttons.

9. Use the words "fiddlesticks" and "poppycock"...all the time, in a British accent, whether it be in the "Oh (insert word here)" context, or something way more creative and equally as enjoyable. Because I just tried it and they sound super funny, hahah.

Operation Captain Tasks 5-6

5. DRINK TEA AND EAT CRUMPETS. This is honestly the only way to integrate into true U.K. culture. Also, you must have a British magazine or amazing British book with you.

6. Please visit a Top Shop, so the girls are able to live through your shopping eyes.

... MORE TO COME!